Speak Your Truth: Unapologetically Owning Your Vernacular
My little brother, Xander, is the kind of guy who doesn’t mince words.
Especially when fed up with something he’s quietly endured long past the threshold of his patience in addressing - typically in a moment when you least expect it and a brute conviction that rivals a heavyweight boxer at a press conference the night before a title defense match. Imagine Mike Tyson in an interview after a series of annoying questions—that’s Xander.
Every day we text, and one particular morning, he asked how my night was.
I had gone out with some friends for a movie, followed by a late night dinner and cocktails afterward, and even though I was conservative with my drinks, I sometimes forget I’m closer to 30 than 25. So, I told him I woke up with a “back of the skull pain bubble” - my term for a hangover.
Keep in mind, Xander is privy to this term i’ve long used which translates to a hangover. Being the Iron Mike reincarnate he is, he immediately shot back, “You should write a book of synonyms and phrases for words you don’t like the sound of.” Even though he might not have had so much as a Jon Hamm soft smile, I was howling with laughter and expressed my current state in response.
Then he followed up with, “YOU’RE HUNGOVER!” in all caps and a litany of other words to describe things in lieu of their original term - some of the more abstract terms i’m guilty are mine and most frequently use, such as “bop” and “SSBD”; some most definitely not mine but threw in regardless to make his case, such as “wackadoo” and “tiptopmagoo,” reminscent of the beloved gibberish-slang of Joey Diaz on a podcast (no disrespect, Joey—much love).
But Xander hit on something that shortly sparked a surge of inward thinking on the matter.
Maybe I’ve been subconsciously creating my own vernacular because I don’t like how certain words sound. They’re too aggressive, too boring, too obvious, too illicit to say out loud, or just too long and could benefit from an acronym. Consciously, I’ve always done it because I love British movies and their undeniably cooler slang terms and phrases.
So, here’s a free sampling of the vernacular I’ve subjected Xander and my friends to over the years:
KEY TERMS AND DEFINITIONS
Back of the skull pain bubble
Hangover. Why simply say you feel like death when you can poetically describe it?
Dangling out of my a**
Also hangover. It’s all about the visual.
Bop
Any form of going out and leaving the house. Whether it’s personal, social, or business-related, a casual bop to the grocery store or a full-on bop to a party, it’s versatile.
Sip
An alcoholic beverage. Why drink when you can sip?
On the scene
Being an active participant in the social fabric of your area.
Bop on the scene
Going out to multiple spots, cocktails optional but encouraged. The level of indulgence is open-ended.
Bites and sips
Going to a place that’s primarily for eating but also serves cocktails and has a social vibe. It’s the classy cousin of “getting wasted.”
Light bop
Staying local, coming home at a reasonable hour, with cocktails as a possibility but limited to two rounds. Responsible, yet still fun.
Bop on the circuit
Hitting up your favorite old haunts within walking distance, ending the night near your favorite late-night eats spot—most likely a pizzeria.
Two hands on the wheel
Feeling good but fully in control after a few cocktails. Not to be confused with actually driving.
One hand on the wheel
Starting to lose control, need a water to get both hands back on the metaphorical wheel.
Lost grip of the wheel
Time to call a cab before you crash and burn. Again, no physical cars involved.
Winds the clock
Butterflies in the stomach when you spot an attractive person.
Throw hair on
Styling and grooming your hair to look your best. You’re not just getting ready; you’re prepping for a movie-premiere quality impression.
SSBD
“Silky smooth button down,” or a short sleeve button-down shirt with a bold pattern. The shirt that says, “I’m here to party, but with style.”
The Unit
Your ride-or-die friend group, the best version of yourself when you’re together, and always has your back.
Keep it tight
A standard of cleanliness, organization, and presentability. Acute attention to detail in appearance, living space, and work ethic.
A force
Anything in excess, not organic, or poorly timed. Like that friend who drinks too much and ruins the vibe.
On the water
Being in the zone, whether it’s work or play. "Need to get on the water with a few things I have to finish today," or "Slow start, but we’re on the water now."
Reality a suggestion
Someone who appears normal but has a warped outlook on life. Example: renting a Citi Bike and riding it in the car lane for the thrill.
Race to the bottom
A conversation or scenario leading nowhere and spinning the wheels.
Goodnight Jim Kite
Like saying "that's all she wrote" or predicting an outcome confidently before it’s over.
Feel –
The ability to read between the lines, having charm, being culturally aware, and navigating people and situations with finesse.
No feel
The antithesis of feel.
Go lay down
Like saying "beat it" or dismissing someone clueless, overly kowtowing, or a modern-day "Karen." Perfect for those with no feel.
There you have it—a free sampling of my personal lexicon and “bespoke” vernacular.
For those who think this is absurd but refer to their grandparents as their “meemaw and peepaw,” I say: go lay down, because reality might very well be a suggestion.
So, next time you're out, don’t just go for drinks. Go for sips.
Don’t just hang out—bop on the scene.
And always keep it tight.
